Reflecting on Things We Can Control

     This morning I was reading from a passage found in 1 Corinthians 9.  An underlying theme that one can read into the passage is that the church has lacked generosity where Paul is concerned.  He has invested much effort in sharing the gospel with them.  He claims them as 'his workmanship.'  He has fulfilled his calling as an apostle to this church in Corinth that has many questions, and exhibits many problems. Paul talks about the sacrifices of ministry, working without pay, and relinquishing his rights to have a normal family life.  He asks the question, if we sow spiritual things among you, is it too much to request that we reap material benefits from you?  He shares a passage from the Old Testament that indicates that even an ox must not be muzzled while it works.  He explains that this passage isn't only talking about animals but about those who work for the sake of the gospel.  Paul reveals that he has received the mission to share the gospel, and no lack of payment will keep him from stewarding his assignment well.  He's not working for temporal rewards.  Paul might proclaim that his one weakness is boasting that he needs no help from them.  He then compares his efforts to great athletes. Paul is keeping his eye on the goal, his eternal inheritance.  Unlike a trained athlete who also exhibits significant self-discipline to win, Paul is not looking for a perishable wreath. 

     This passage offered more than a lesson of self-discipline for me today, it helped me to view things outside my control differently.  This time of social distancing has been a great time for reflection.  My life has not been affected as much as some by the situation of staying close to home and limiting exposures to others.  Many of those around me have.  Three members of my own family have had to adjust to major changes, two students, and a tax accountant.  For many years I have spent the vast majority of my time at home caring for the needs of my family and pursuing things that the LORD has rested on my heart to accomplish.  I have felt very blessed, unlike some who might find isolation very difficult.  The most significant difference I feel at the moment, under the statewide mandate to remain secluded, is that the decision to stay at home is no longer mine, but under the authority of the governor of my state.  When decision-making appears to be removed from our jurisdiction, rather than focus on what has been lost, let's look at what can be gained from it.  What has not been removed from my control is self-discipline.  Paul speaks about this in 1 Corinthians 9:25-27 (ESV), when he says, "Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.  So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air.  But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. "

     So where can I exercise self-discipline as I take care of my family of four and learn how to co-exist under the same roof twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week?  I find that it is a good time to evaluate how I can best fulfill my role as wife and mother.  How can I invest my time to support the needs of my family?  How about household management?  It's time to change my routine from packing lunches and snacks, making breakfast, and then doing my Bible study when the house is quiet.  I am now pacing myself in the kitchen to prepare breakfast, fixing a substantial lunch and taking more time to consider how I use the groceries we have in the house for dinner and snacks.  I'm making use of the ingredients that have been staples in my pantry (for years).  I am perusing our freezer for things I tucked away but forget what I intended to do with them at the time of purchase months ago.  I have chosen not to visit our local grocery store unless absolutely necessary allowing others access to groceries that they need far more than we do.  I am keeping a 'wish list' of items that I might like to replace when the time is right.  What I've experienced during this time of creative thinking in my kitchen is memories of my grandparents.  They were very frugal with food and learned many ways of becoming self-sufficient with growing, canning and freezing and baking most of their own breads, cakes, and pies from scratch.  The memories of how good everything tasted when we didn't take it for granted is etched in my mind.  Grandma had a way of knowing everyone's favorite foods.

     I've learned to practice greater concern for the environment even though we have always had good recycling practices.  I asked the family to drink filtered water from the refrigerator rather than bottled water we store in the garage.  We are attempting to use real plates rather than paper products that helped us to avoid washing dishes.  As I reach for another sheet of paper towel to dry my hands, I consider the dish towels I store in the drawer next to the sink.  Instead of allowing fruit to over-ripen on the counter or bread to develop mold in the pantry, I am considered more appropriate ways to extend the life of our food or use them before we throw them away in the trash.  These may be all practices that you have already put in place, but we as a family have become quite wasteful and have not stewarded our resources as well as we should have.  We are considering our food choices carefully.  We are not eating only what sounds good at the moment, but we are trying to be more practical in making decisions about portions and content.  

     We are choosing not to stay in our pajamas all day.  We are choosing to put a comb through our hair.  We are trying to remain presentable to one another in the same way we would represent ourselves to the world outside our door.  Cozy is one thing, but refusing to change one's socks or underwear is unacceptable.  For the most part this has not been a problem in our family, but I'm recognizing signs of the lack of self-discipline represented in social media posts.  We are practicing self-discipline in making our beds, keeping our house tidy, and taking care of dirty dishes in the sink.  The laundry is caught up.  These are not chores that I am imposing on my family.  I want to be engaged with a cheerful heart to make the best environment I can for our physical, spiritual, and mental well being.  I recognize my part in exercising self-disciple as a privilege.

     I've read many complaints from parents who are having difficulty with the 'home-school' approach to keeping kids activity and their study skills in good order.  I feel fortunate that our girls are self-motivated to engage in the assignments they receive.  I am very grateful for our teachers who have invested time in our kids to offer school assignments.   I am grateful to technology that makes access to education available and applications like smart music that connect our children to their music program.  How wonderful to hear that local internet businesses are making sure families without access are not hindered. 

     I am grateful for text messages that I receive on a daily-basis from members of our small group from church as we exchange prayer requests.  Having others care about our welfare as much as we care for theirs is a great blessing.  We are using our mealtimes to share prayer requests and pray.  We are grateful for the youth pastors of our church who are teaching our children how to read the Bible and learn study tips through video presentations.  We have practiced the method they are teaching for sometime, but having our ministry team reinforced Bible study practices from outside our home is priceless.  We are appreciative about the proactive approach our church leaders have taken to "Live-stream" services and conduct mid-week connections for us to participate in.  We have been making great use of our "Rightnowmedia" subscription gifted to us by our church to fill our minds with good spiritual lessons.  We have found a few family-friendly programs on television that we can watch together.  We are engaged with a series based in the 1890's that has been very entertaining.  We often keep a partially made puzzle on our seldom-used dining table to engage in a family activity.  We are keeping news of the escalating illnesses and deaths to a minimum.  We are not focused on fear, but on what God is doing through these circumstances.  We are refraining from offering anything less than positive on social media.  

     This Spring, I was asked to prepare a Woman's Bible study for a neighboring church.  This is an activity I've enjoyed doing for many years.  Because of uncertainty when our social distancing will pass, this study has been postponed, if not permanently canceled.  Still, I have chosen to continue preparing myself to share what I've learned through this study with others.  The delivery may change, but there is no reason not to prepare.  There is no wrong time to share a gospel message.

     The intention of this article isn't to boast on how well our family is doing handling current restrictions.  Again as I observed the passage in 1 Corinthians 9, I can see that Paul set himself as an example for how he chose to live.  He left a very small footprint of need as he shared the gospel.  He was very principled and demonstrated a steadfast zeal for his mission.  In 1 Corinthians 9:15, we read, "But I have made no use of any of these rights, nor am I writing these things to secure any such provision. For I would rather die than have anyone deprive me of my ground for boasting."  Our ground for boasting is to be worthy servants in sharing God's love with others.  It is our God-given assignment to be engaged in the world.  We need to consider the best way to approach that assignment.  

A SHORT STORY:

     As I looked out my kitchen window the other morning I felt a gentle nudge to respond to the new neighbors who moved in next door right after Christmas.  Several months have passed and as with most winter seasons we rarely spend time outdoors.  We drive in and out of our garage using our door openers and rarely exit the car in the elements.  We may take quick trips to the mailbox or an even faster trip to the curb on Sunday nights to place our garage cans for pickup.  That being said, we never went out of our way to welcome the new family that moved in next door, a very un-neighborly way to act.  We've seen signs of who they are from the kitchen window where I write my articles.  It is a younger couple with two small boys and a black Labrador retriever.  We've seen the father in the back yard with their young sons engaged in snow sledding.  I've caught a glance at the mother who comes and goes much like I do.  I cannot say I haven't felt guilty a time or two thinking I really should bake something and take it next door.

     I felt compelled to write a note giving them contact information in case of emergency.  I suggested that we send a text message back and forth to informally introduce ourselves.  I noticed excessive jars of jam in our pantry and decided to put a small token of friendship into a gift bag.  I asked my eldest daughter to deliver it to their front step.  Obviously we didn't want to create any unnecessary exposure by the personal contact, but none of us have had any symptoms of illness.  When my daughter returned home she said, they have a newborn baby.  This exchange gave us just a little glimpse of where worry could plague the minds of our new neighbors for health and safety reasons.  This morning we exchanged messages back and forth to put any concerns she might have to rest.  

     I share this brief story only to highlight that there might be relationships or things that we neglected.  This season may be the perfect time to build bridges and tear down walls.  This might be the perfect time to stop feeling guilty about the things we've left undone. 

   

QUESTION:

1.  What self-discipline or mindset can you establish during this season of change?

2.  What are you grateful for in the process of discovering life at a slower pace?

3.  What memories surface that teach us that there is a different way to look at life?