The 10-Year Challenge

     As I write this article, we are in the last year of this decade, 2019,  and the last month of this year, December.  To some that may seem significant, but to others it may have gone entirely unnoticed.  In 2019, over one million people have participated in 'the ten-year photo challenge' on social media, so some are noticing!  This photo challenge has been going on throughout the entire year, but it has just recently caught my attention as many of my social media friends have taken this challenge.  The challenge consists of people posting a 'then’ (2009) and 'now' (2019) picture of themselves.  This challenge is not just a Facebook® trend but also has been part of Twitter® and Instagram®.  Some have speculated that this challenge had an underlying motivation to help programmers develop facial recognition aging algorithms for use on the Internet.  What seems to have made this trend most popular is celebrity involvement.    

     Unlike many participants, I did not feel drawn to reveal whether the past ten years has been good or bad as one evaluates with the eye.  From my perspective, how I’ve changed from the neck up is far less significant than what has changed within my heart.  Granted, I’ve made some blunders, but I can also see a considerable change in the way I participate in life.  More than notice a change in my appearance, those who have known me the longest may recognize the real transformation.  I no longer wish to be measured by the worlds’ point of view but by a standard called sanctification.  Sanctification is how God measures our growth.  It can not be measured by humankind because only God can see the changes that occur in ones’ heart.  

     As I searched the Internet to see what was behind the ‘ten-year photo challenge,’ I could easily see that many spoofs had taken place, some of which are not worthy of mentioning.  From the price of gasoline at the pump to modification in consumer packaging to gives us less product for more money, it is easy to see how this challenge captured the attention of many.  This past Sunday, we had the pleasure of hearing our youngest pastor give his first sermon from the pulpit although he has been heavily involved in youth ministries.  As this young man, who has grown up with social media, shared his own ‘ten-year photo challenge’ post with us, we learned how he had been called into the ministry.  Mentored by several senior ministers, this seed had been planted ten years prior when he played soccer in high school.  Now here he was speaking my own language of transformation.  Pictures generally only capture visible changes; whereas people change far more than appearances reveal.  
     Within just a few days I will be celebrating my sixth decade in life.  Now that sounds far better than saying, I’m sixty.  I was born in the last year of a decade (1959), and in the last month of the year (December).  Unlike most women my age, I am not a grandmother, nor an empty nester.  I am the mother of teenage girls, one in middle school and my oldest in high school.  We are raising our girls when most people are age are celebrating the fruits of their labor.  Tongue in cheek, my husband and I relate nicely to Abraham and Sarah; when others are astonished by their story, we nod in understanding.  Most parents of our children’s friends are decades young than us.  They tend to see the world from a much different viewpoint than our own.  Although we are grateful for our perspective, this view is not always popular with our girls nor their friends.  We feel much better equip to make decisions today than what we would have made in our thirties and forties.  We often have to remind ourselves to extend grace rather than judgment on other younger counterparts, admittedly, not always with success.

     A decade ago, my husband and I were developing skills in patience.  We eagerly awaited the referral of our youngest daughter who then was three and is now thirteen.  We had been in the throes of waiting her deliver; the journey took us far longer than we had expected.  We often wondered whether God had planned to expand our family; our adoption experience was an excellent reminder that we were not in control of the outcome.  We modified what we could alter on our application, requesting an older child, as we ourselves had aged, and our energy dwindled.  Seven years of home studies, four years of updating documents, doctor’s visits, aids testing, financial disclosures, background checks, and waiting was all growing wearisome.  My husband and I often spoke about how long we were inclined to wait as the months passed.  We questioned whether to discontinue the process and become disqualified by age to pursue adoption.  Our combined age was well-passed the criterion allowed, yet we were ‘grandfathered’ in, how silly that sounds now.  Then in the last quarter of the last year we were willing to wait (2010), God blessed us with a referral and travel plans to bring our youngest daughter home.  Circumstances that surrounded this event cast no doubt in our minds that God had performed a miracle on our behalf.  Yes, we can testify to that, even now that she is a typical teenager!
     Nearly a decade before, my husband and I met on a blind date,  and we decided to become husband and wife.  We both are very seasoned planners.  My husband a CPA, and I, a project manager, mutually agreed that we wanted to start a family.  He asked me if I would agree to become a stay-at-home mother.  As easy as that decision might be for some women, at the time I seriously had to consider whether I could meet that request.  My twenties, thirties, and forties had firmly rooted my identity in career advancement and financial agendas.  I fell into the mindset that I was what I did for a living.  I had no experience with stay-at-home mothers among my then business associates.  Integrity insisted that if I agreed, I must be good at my word.  I did not understand at the time; submitting to this plan was a higher calling.

     Recognizing the value in a parental role was far from my understanding, but through deliberately seeking wisdom in Gods’ design, I am now able to see this role much differently than I once did.  Our children needed us to be involved far more than most of us are willing to admit, even if it means sacrifice.  Experts may say that women seek security; whereas men seek significance in life.  I believe that security and significance are two sides to the same coin.  To accept the security my husband has been called to provide, I had to give up the significance I desired to pursue.  It was really a trust issue.  I have to admit; this transition was neither easy nor quick.  I had to learn to submit to my husband’s leadership.  At first I paid lip service to the submission as I continued to seek ways to reinvent myself within the confines of my home-based life.  I still felt entitled to many things that I didn’t always ask for, but independently decided on my own.  As unfair as that was to my husband, it was a reflection of my trust in God.

     Reinventing myself was the approach I took to control my steps.  That confession doesn’t come easy, but I was selfish.  I appeared to be righteous on the outside, but on the inside my heart was rebelling.   I couldn’t accept a resume that said ‘child of God, period!’ I had to attach all kinds of accomplishments to explain my importance to others.  Anyone searching Linked-In® will see the extent to which I defined my existence just a few years ago.  Now I am tempted to delete my profile altogether.  Although our faces show some age with time, the transformation in my heart is far more significant.  One can not determine by the smoothness of ones’ skin or the color of ones’ hair how life has affected the person.  There are too many products that allow us to camouflage the truth.

     No-fault of my spouse, my pride prevented me from recognizing the value of motherhood.  I had created a vision in my head of success.  I had been swayed in thinking by the most popular self-promoting books; I allowed my college and career experience to define me.  In networking arena’s I learned to define who I was by what I had accomplished.  The world is eager to encourage us to pursue ‘false’ identities at the expense of being what we truly are, created beings, called for the purpose of glorifying God.  In the world, self-reliance, not dependency gains respect.  How easy is it for us to believe we create our lifestyle, and that we own those things that surround us rather than them owning us.  When was the last time you said, “I’m so-and-so’s wife,” rather than describing your own accomplishments?  The illusion of self-sufficiency makes us believe that we can and should make our own decisions apart from Gods’ plan.  In this independent way of thinking, we justify our actions, and we put our desires ahead of the ones God wishes to place in our hearts.  Whether it was evident to the outside world, my stubborn heart prevented me from seeking Gods’ wisdom.  I did not accurately see the woman in the mirror.  
     Good at my word, once our eldest was in school full-time, I sought many different avenues to create the life I considered worthy:  inventing a product, filing a patent, forming a corporation, running a non-profit, chasing success in a multi-level marketing company, teaching seminars, attending conventions, networking, and fundraising for worthy causes.  None of these undertakings bad, but the underlying motivation behind it all was self-importance. 

     Then one day, an inaudible voice spoke into my ear that said, ‘stop!’  First I relinquished my networking activities, then my business endeavors, and finally my philanthropic pursuits.  I couldn’t explain if I tried, but I knew that I had to lay in all aside.  It wasn’t because it had become overwhelming, but it had become inappropriate for me.  I waited to hear, ‘pursue this,’ but even though a million ideas passed through my head, I knew that it was wrong to ask God to bless me in this or that, but instead wait.  During this experience I was listening to an audible program by Henry Blackaby called Experiencing God.  I was asked to teach Sunday School, and as I heard “See where God is working and join Him,” I knew that although I was not thrilled about this request I said, ‘yes.’  My prayers began to change, and I began to look for saying ‘yes’ to the things God was asking of me.  Instead of asking God to bless my ideas, I began praying, “Lord change my heart toward what you want me to do.” Familiar phrases like, “God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called,” began to take on personal meaning.  As I thought that I would only pursue unwanted assignments for a season and then get back to what I wanted to do, God taught me how to grow within the tasks He selected for me to do.  

     Today I recognize God’s hand in so many things.  He blesses my obedience; He is expanding my assignments; He delights my heart; He unsettles me when I need to repent; He calls me out when I judge others; I am more passionate about prayer; Daily devotions are my most favorite past time; My focus is shifting, and I am satisfied in the role God has assigned to me.  My husband’s faith is growing, and I’m highly satisfied with my marriage.  A ten-year photo challenge would show little in comparison to what Gods’ grace has allowed me to recognize.  

 Here’s my ten-year challenge to you:  

What has God revealed in your life this past decade?  

Explain the transformation that you’ve experienced.  

Does this revelation produce a testimony of Sanctification?