Women Behaving Badly - Part One

    Have you heard the story of two sisters who married the same man and found no personal satisfaction in their marriages?  Who could have predicted?  This story will show two women behaving badly, but the disharmony found in this story, existed before this story began.  At an earlier time, we learn of a younger son outsmarting his father and receiving a blessing for which he was not entitled.  This blessing would change the course of his life.  The plan, the eldest shall serve the youngest had already been announced to their mother before the birth of these twins.  Esau was born first, and his father loved him best because they shared many things in common.  Jacob, born second, was favored by his mother.  Rebekah, the mother of these twins, instigated the plan that her youngest, Jacob, would gain his father’s blessing.  He had already stolen his brother's birthright.  Could God’s plan have taken place without the introduction of deception?  Since God knows the beginning from the end as well as the hearts of all His people, God in His wisdom and great patience observed nature taking its own course toward evil and did not intervene according to Scriptures.

     Once the deed was done it seemed necessary for Jacob to flee from the presence of his brother who was highly angered after receiving no blessing for himself.  Rebekah had overheard Esau promise retribution aspiring to kill his brother Jacob, but waiting until after their father had passed away.  History seems to be repeating itself when we recall the story of Cain and Abel.  Rebekah, protecting her youngest with a conniving spirit, insisted that Jacob travel to the home of their ancestors her brother Laban’s house to obtain a suitable wife.  This journey would get Jacob out of dangers way.  Highly displeased with the choice of local women that their eldest son had chosen in marriage, it was not a difficult decision for Isaac and Rebekah to agree, although not with the same understanding of eminent danger for Jacob.

     Jacob sojourned toward his Uncle Laban’s home, a man he had never met, but who was related to both his mother and his father.  He would stay long enough to obtain a wife and hear that his brother’s anger had resolved.  Upon arriving at a well, possibly the same location he had heard of God’s answered prayer to his grandfather’s servant when obtaining his mother for his father, Jacob sets his eyes upon the most beautiful woman.  Could it be the water that made these women so beautiful?  Rachel had come to the well to water the family sheep; she was a shepherd.  She was his mother’s niece, his own cousin, the youngest daughter of his uncle.  According to family history, this was a match made in heaven.  He knew in a moment that this would fulfill the desire of his heart for a wife, and he proceeded to give her a warm kiss upon first meeting.  This kiss may have had more intent behind it than the family greeting that was customary at the time.

     Jacob, immediately welcomed by his uncle, felt very much at home.  It wasn’t hard for him to get into the routine of assisting his uncle with his large herd of animals.  About one month after his arrival, his uncle brought up the delicate topic of earning a wage for his work.  He sought Jacob's input. There was no question in Jacob's mind that he would work for Rachel’s hand in marriage.  The two men agreed that Jacob would work for seven years and at the end of that time would receive her hand in marriage.  We read in Genesis chapter 29 that time seemed to pass quickly.  Jacob was happy to work because his reward was Rachel, the woman he loved.  At the end of seven years, Jacob asked his uncle to make good on their agreement, and wedding plans commenced.

     The morning after the marriage consummation, Jacob discovered that his uncle, and now father-in-law, was not a trustworthy man.  Laban had tricked him.  The marriage tent held his eldest daughter, disguised as Rachel; Jacob unknowingly slept with Leah.  Although angry, Jacob allowed his father-in-law to explain their customs and agreed to continue with the festivities of the marriage ceremony.  

     We learn that Leah was not an attractive woman and she had poor eyesight.  Could this be the reason why Leah had not found a marriage proposal forthcoming?  Can you imagine what must have been going through Leah’s mind as she laid in disguise and having relations with her new husband?  Is it any wonder why she must have felt unloved and unworthy of this marriage?  Jacob loved her sister so much that he was willing to continue working for their father another seven years to acquire the wife he more highly desired.  Laban was not alone in this deception; Leah too must have agreed.  One might find themselves agreeing with karma and say, “what goes around comes around” as Jacob himself was not an innocent man.  A man of trickery, had been tricked.

     For seven years, Rachel had set her hopes on marriage; for seven years Leah must have envied her sister who held the potential to be married first.  Can we imagine for a moment what exchanges must have arisen between these two sisters who found themselves attached to the same man?  It couldn’t be much different than we would feel if we found ourselves in the same predicament.  Did Rachel blame her sister; or did she resent her dad?  How much shame did Leah experience, or did she feel entitled?  The backstory reveals so many things that help us discover the why behind women behaving badly.   Leah could never quite shake the grief that rested upon her heart, hoping to acquire the love of a man, but not measuring up to his standard.  Although responding to one another as husband and wife inside the tent, outside the shelter it must have been another story.  No matter how pleasant and giving Leah tried to be, she saw enough to know that she would always play second fiddle.

     On the day that Leah discovered that she was with child, a new spirit of hope rose within her; Leah would give Jacob children and in doing so, she would earn his love.  At this point in the story, we learn of unspoken favor given to Leah when Scriptures reveal, “When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren.”  (Genesis 29:31 ESV) As Leah gave birth to her first son, she named him Reuben.  Customary to the time, names carried great significance to the bearer.  Leah assigned her feelings of being unloved to this child when she said, “Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now, my husband will love me.”  (Genesis 29:32 ESV) How unfair does this seem that a little baby would receive such a legacy?  His namesake would always remind him that his mother felt so unloved by her husband, his father. 

     The same resentment rested in Leah’s heart throughout her second pregnancy and she named her next son Simeon, giving him the same label, “because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also”.  (Genesis 29:33 ESV) Seeing motherhood through the eyes of Leah requires that we recognize the scorn she must have felt.  She concedes that her second son is a constellation prize for being mistreated.  How easy would it be for a woman with this mindset to love her children in the way God intended?

     By the time she is expecting child number three, we recognize the blessing of yet another baby boy.  It is evident that conjugal visits were frequent enough to produce children.  At this time Leah may have felt it her duty, more than a pleasantry to enjoy private time with her husband.  Levi, the third son, seemed to receive no better reception from his mother as she named him by the entitlement of respect and honor she felt she had earned.  She said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me because I have borne him three sons.”  (Genesis 29:34 ESV)

     Evident that Rachel remained childless, Leah now found herself consumed with the idea of giving her body to produce offspring to earn Jacob’s favor.  Logic would tell us that she had a competitive spirit and now felt advantaged over her younger sister who had provided no children.  If you are keeping score, Leah – four, Rachel – zero.  Leah envied the love she observed and in a mindset of lacking, Leah must have had difficulty offering love and affection toward her children who were seen more as bargaining chips.  

     Although many years had passed, each adjoining verse of Scripture brings news of yet another pregnancy.  One might expect that by the fourth child, Leah might awaken to the fact she had a motherhood role, resisting the temptation to continue the resentment that plagued her ideal of marriage.  With this child, Judah, it seems that hope had arrived; she said of him, “This time I will praise the LORD.”  (Genesis 29:35 ESV) Could Leah now be viewing her children differently?  Found in Psalm 127:3 we read, “Behold children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb, a reward.”  Could David, the inspired writer of this psalm as he pondered Scriptures, have known that a man named "praise" would create the lineage for a king and then the King of kings?  Praise had awarded him life.  The significance of Judah, his unlikely relationship with his daughter-in-law Tamar, the untimely death of two of his three sons who had previously been married to her; all miracles led to Jesus.  How awe-inspiring is it to discover that our Messiah’s lineage traces back to a descendant whose name meant “praise”?  God gives us details that can easily go unnoticed.  How has "praise"  influenced your life in Christ?

To be continued . . .