Hardship as Discipline
When I was a child, I used to hate the word discipline. Thinking back on it, I have many more memories of the physical and emotional pain that I experienced than an understanding of the truth behind the correction. Harsh words spoken to a child can never be unheard; some words leave emotional scars so deep that they may never heal, even after the physical signs of correction have disappeared. Lies are often disguised as truth when words are spoken in anger. Those lies may cause us to believe things about ourselves that are harmful. This article is not focused on bringing up unpleasant memories for the sake of making someone right and another wrong. The intent behind this is to help us gain a better understanding of the word discipline and how God uses it to move us closer to His character.
When God uses the word "discipline", He is focused on refining us. It is a process through which He is removing impurities and unwanted elements from our lives. The word Refining is synonymous with clarifying, cleansing, straining, sifting, filtering, treating, or rectifying. By reframing our understanding of the word discipline, we can begin to see God's purposeful guidance? The refining process can make clear things we could not otherwise know. For example, we may call something normal behavior because it is so prevalent in our society, but God leads us to the truth, teaching us where our sinful nature is warring against God's ideal design for us. God's discipline gives us the ability and desire to examine the attitudes behind our actions. God isn't looking solely for behavior modification, He is looking for a deeper, richer and lasting heart change.
God has given me a job, an assignment, to teach my children how to love Him above all else. The Bible teaches me to make this my first parenting priority. I cannot make this happen apart from God, but only through the guidance, He offers to me through the Holy Spirit. I take this job seriously as I hope that my children will glorify God through their attitudes and actions. More than having my children look back and appreciate their childhood and commend me for being a good parent, I would love to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!" Matthew 25:23 (NIV) I want to see my parenting through God's perspective, not humankind's. We have such a flawed human version of discipline that it is no wonder that we cringe at the word. Discipline can be proactive since it is a training and development program. It is far less appealing as a reactive means to modify behavior. As hard as it may be to discipline our children, I would venture to guess that if we truly understood the meaning of this word we would apply it more readily and instead of gaining only a temporary fix, we would find that it has the capability of producing an everlasting value for generations.
Let me give an example, the other day I was watching a video which was posted by a father who was making his ten-year-old daughter walk five miles to and from school for a week, while he drove behind her with a watchful eye to make sure she was safe. This discipline was invoked after he learned that she had been kicked off the school bus for bullying another child. She was a repeat offender. When he received the letter from her school explaining her expulsion he confronted his daughter who told him, "I guess this means you'll be driving me to and from school next week." Because we think in terms of punishment, you may agree that the child would not feel much remorse for her behavior given a comfy ride to school. This outcome would probably not refine this child's heart in the matter of bullying. The discipline the father applied was not to use hard words or a lecture on how she was too behave, she already knew right from wrong. He tackled the issue of entitlement along with giving her time to think about not repeating the offense. She had to endure a hardship of walking ten miles each day. On a sidebar, I hope she had good shoes!
So how do we reframe our understanding of discipline? In Romans 12:4 (ESV) the Bible explains, "In your struggles against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." Would you agree that we typically see ourselves as righteous? Do we examine our lives regularly for sin? This verse gives us a reminder that we are sinful and that we have not personally paid the price for our attitudes and actions, Jesus did. Jesus is the only means by which we could have a relationship with God because he paid the penalty for us. The passage goes on to say "have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son?" The verse that follows repeats what was first recorded in Proverbs 3:11-12. "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." Hebrews 12:5b-6 (NIV) Let's not get hung up on pronouns, He is speaking to daughters too. I read this passage to one of my children this morning and asked her if she knew what the word "chastened" meant. We looked the word up together and discovered that it means restraining or moderating. In other words, this means that God curbs our natural tendency to sin. It is like using a dog fence to keep your defenseless dog safely in your yard when it would rather run across the street chasing a rabbit.
When God uses the word "discipline", He is focused on refining us. It is a process through which He is removing impurities and unwanted elements from our lives. The word Refining is synonymous with clarifying, cleansing, straining, sifting, filtering, treating, or rectifying. By reframing our understanding of the word discipline, we can begin to see God's purposeful guidance? The refining process can make clear things we could not otherwise know. For example, we may call something normal behavior because it is so prevalent in our society, but God leads us to the truth, teaching us where our sinful nature is warring against God's ideal design for us. God's discipline gives us the ability and desire to examine the attitudes behind our actions. God isn't looking solely for behavior modification, He is looking for a deeper, richer and lasting heart change.
God has given me a job, an assignment, to teach my children how to love Him above all else. The Bible teaches me to make this my first parenting priority. I cannot make this happen apart from God, but only through the guidance, He offers to me through the Holy Spirit. I take this job seriously as I hope that my children will glorify God through their attitudes and actions. More than having my children look back and appreciate their childhood and commend me for being a good parent, I would love to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!" Matthew 25:23 (NIV) I want to see my parenting through God's perspective, not humankind's. We have such a flawed human version of discipline that it is no wonder that we cringe at the word. Discipline can be proactive since it is a training and development program. It is far less appealing as a reactive means to modify behavior. As hard as it may be to discipline our children, I would venture to guess that if we truly understood the meaning of this word we would apply it more readily and instead of gaining only a temporary fix, we would find that it has the capability of producing an everlasting value for generations.
Let me give an example, the other day I was watching a video which was posted by a father who was making his ten-year-old daughter walk five miles to and from school for a week, while he drove behind her with a watchful eye to make sure she was safe. This discipline was invoked after he learned that she had been kicked off the school bus for bullying another child. She was a repeat offender. When he received the letter from her school explaining her expulsion he confronted his daughter who told him, "I guess this means you'll be driving me to and from school next week." Because we think in terms of punishment, you may agree that the child would not feel much remorse for her behavior given a comfy ride to school. This outcome would probably not refine this child's heart in the matter of bullying. The discipline the father applied was not to use hard words or a lecture on how she was too behave, she already knew right from wrong. He tackled the issue of entitlement along with giving her time to think about not repeating the offense. She had to endure a hardship of walking ten miles each day. On a sidebar, I hope she had good shoes!
So how do we reframe our understanding of discipline? In Romans 12:4 (ESV) the Bible explains, "In your struggles against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood." Would you agree that we typically see ourselves as righteous? Do we examine our lives regularly for sin? This verse gives us a reminder that we are sinful and that we have not personally paid the price for our attitudes and actions, Jesus did. Jesus is the only means by which we could have a relationship with God because he paid the penalty for us. The passage goes on to say "have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son?" The verse that follows repeats what was first recorded in Proverbs 3:11-12. "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son." Hebrews 12:5b-6 (NIV) Let's not get hung up on pronouns, He is speaking to daughters too. I read this passage to one of my children this morning and asked her if she knew what the word "chastened" meant. We looked the word up together and discovered that it means restraining or moderating. In other words, this means that God curbs our natural tendency to sin. It is like using a dog fence to keep your defenseless dog safely in your yard when it would rather run across the street chasing a rabbit.
My mind transfixed on a specific phrase found in Hebrews 12 verse 7 which says, "Endure hardships as discipline; God is treating you as His children." Did you know that "transfixed" means to become motionless with horror, wonder or astonishment? I'm not sure what emotion: horror, wonder or astonishment you may wish to adopt as you hear hardships are discipline. I have chosen wonder. Personal struggles are meant for refinement. On the receiving end of discipline (replace this with hardship if you like), would you say we want to understand "why" we are called to endure? God's reasoning is found in verse ten which reveals, "in order that we may share in his holiness." Was that what you expected? When we do not understand, isn't it a common thing to ask a question beginning with the word why? Often times what we really mean is "what on earth have I done to deserve this? or why me?" Just like our own parent's response may have been "for your own good", God's "for your own good" is pointed at His objective, holiness. As a child I'm not sure I had the wherewithal to understand this, nor am I sure that my parent's application was aimed at anything more than behavior modification.
You may be in the midst of a hardship right now, or you may be looking at a past experience like it was in the rearview mirror. When we understand that hardship has a purpose, doesn't it make sense that we should not beg God to remove it, but ask Him to help us endure it until His "for our own good" is accomplished? Endure means to bear without resistance, yield to, or have patience and allow our circumstances to teach us and equip us to be holy and righteous for God's glory.
You may be in the midst of a hardship right now, or you may be looking at a past experience like it was in the rearview mirror. When we understand that hardship has a purpose, doesn't it make sense that we should not beg God to remove it, but ask Him to help us endure it until His "for our own good" is accomplished? Endure means to bear without resistance, yield to, or have patience and allow our circumstances to teach us and equip us to be holy and righteous for God's glory.
What does it mean to be holy? The word 'holy' means belonging to or derived from or associated with Divine power. More pleasing to my sense of self-righteousness, dictionary.com defines it as dedicated or devoted to the service of God. The latter definition makes it sound like I have something to do with accomplishing this state. As much as we can pursue it or would like to think it is self-acquired, it is not; Holiness is a God-given gift, not fully accomplished until the end of the age. We cannot be holy on our own.
I guess I didn't use a dictionary much as a child because if I had, I might have discovered that discipline means training or development. I thought it meant punishment viewing it more like a severe penalty. With my focal point on the penalty, it is easy to see why I often forgot the offensive behavior that it was trying to correct. I didn't have the wisdom to understand that the desired outcome was to remove impurities through fine-tuning or refinement. It never felt like character development. As a parent we don't often relish the idea of disciplining our children when we view it under the guise of outdated definitions; even when we know that the word discipline comes from the same root word for disciple, describing a follower of Jesus. Rather than call it discipline, it might be better to call it disciple-ing. Given the opportunity to disciple, our intentions should be on heart transformation, not conformity to a set of rules. God wants heart engagement.
The conclusion of my study led me to verse 12 which includes a “Therefore”. It says, “Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees….so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.” Have you considered the hardships you face as being discipline? Do you look at them as opportunities for refinement? The Apostle Peter encourages us with inspired words in 1 Peter 4:12–13 (NIV) “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the suffering of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed.”
Does this change your viewpoint of a hardship?
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