Christian Community

The Wilderness Journey:

     Watching a video clip from The God Guarantee: Discover the Secret to Always Having Enough, by Jack Alexander, I learned of Pam and Pierce Hamilton's wilderness experience. She recalls a day in 2009 where she learned of her husband diagnosis. It was a fast-moving neurological disease called CJD. In less than two weeks, on her eldest son's birthday, she became a widow with four small boys between the ages of 1 1/2 to 10 years of age. It was at this moment of great despair that Pam was able to experience the community of God-loving people that expanded her family.  

     Her story reminded me of a couple who ministered to our family as we were preparing to adopt our second daughter from China.  Just shy of four years old, Juliana, who had already developed language skills, waited for us in Shanghai.  Our nearly five-year adoption journey now produced a name, a face, and a location along with a few details about her health. As we prepared to bring our second daughter into our home, we understood that our inability to communicate with her could hinder her initial attachment and security we hoped to offer her.    

    We sought a relationship with this couple who had ties in both China and the United States.  Steven had been born and raised in China; his wife, Becky, was from the Midwest.  They now made their home in Michigan.  She was a home-school teacher providing Mandarin lessons to elementary and middle school students in her community.  Becky had acquired her language skills while living in China where she taught English.  What first started as a student-teacher relationship changed to a husband-wife commitment years after Steven had attended her class.  As a young married couple, they created two lovely children from their union and later adopted two children becoming a family of six.  

     In 2010, my husband, our oldest daughter, and I attended weekly Mandarin lessons for several months to learn conversational Mandarin.  We learned things like “are you hungry?", or thirsty?”, “it’s time to go to bed,” “please hold my hand,” and "do you need to go to the bathroom?"  We did not aspire to be fluent in Mandarin, which was fortunate as we later learned that Juliana spoke fluent Shanghainese, not Mandarin.  

      We told Becky that we would be sending an advanced care package to Juliana to introduce ourselves.  We decided on a picture album, a stuffed animal, a hard-cover book which we read and recorded in English, and a disposable camera.  We asked if Steven could write a letter in Chinese to explain to Juliana that we were looking forward to being her parents and that she would soon acquire a sister.  We also wanted to ask the orphanage to use the disposable camera for candid pictures of Juliana in her surroundings.  Steven wrote a letter for us, but he also attached sticky notes to our album explaining relationships, he rewrote the storybook in Mandarin and labeled everything inside our box.  His actions were so loving that we will never forget how he supported us in our adoption journey.   

     The intersection where Hamilton's wilderness experience crossed paths with our friends is tragic.  Shortly after we returned from China with our daughter, we learned that Steven, diagnosed with an advanced stage of cancer, didn’t have long to live.  The prognosis was not good.  Several months later he passed away leaving Becky a widow, much like Pam, with four kids to raise alone. Becky was immediately surrounded by loving families from her church to help her get through the worst of times.  She learned to humble herself and ask for, as well as accept, much help.  What she experienced was the ministry revealed to us in the book of James saying, "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world." ^[1]   

     When we recognize pain and suffering through hardships as these, many of us wake up to the calling to serve one another in love.  Often this form of service lays dormant in our unawareness of need.  We isolate ourselves into smaller family units and believe that we can handle everything alone.  We were not designed to be self-sufficient, but to be in a community of believers. In the book of wisdom, we read, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment." ^[2] 

Giving and Receiving:

     In a Christian community, two opportunities present themselves:  giving and receiving.  We seem to be much better on the giving side of this equation than the receiving.  By giving we obtain an immediate reward when we realize the blessing we have passed on to others.  By receiving, our compensation is personal and spiritual growth.  More often than not, humans do not seem to accept help from others unless our circumstances seem dire.  Humility is required to depend on others.  Receiving teaches us how to be gracious.  Outside of an identified need, this skill is not readily nor easily learned.  It shows us how to live in a community.  Relationships flourish when we are willing to allow others to lean into our lives and offer assistance.  Who doesn't want to feel needed? We can see God creating everlasting bonds with other believers when they step into our lives with loving gestures.  We as Christians need these love experiences as it is so much easier for us to fall into judgmental behaviors on this earthly journey.  God shows His character through us best when we encourage and support one another providing hope in hardships. 

Willing to Receive:

     If you are experiencing an unusually busy season or a rough patch in life, how willing are you to accept assistance from others? It seems we may be more willing to welcome support when our difficulties seem more significant, like losing a loved one, but how many of us allow others to serve us when we view our circumstances as bearable?   Times like these:  planning a wedding, bringing a new baby home, buying or selling a house, moving to a new location, building a home, undergoing a medical procedure, recovering from an illness, or moving into a new phase of life (like retirement), are perfect opportunities to let your community serve you.  We may be willing to ask for prayer but wouldn't accept a helping hand.  All of these examples can easily lend themselves to receiving the support of a close Christian community, your Christian community.  In our church, we call these communities small groups.  

     If you are part of a small group and feel disconnected, is it possible that you are unwilling to receive from others? Is the need for privacy too great?  Maybe you've been burned by an untrustworthy relationship that causes you to question motives.  Relationships held at an arm's distance remove the ability of others to offer an embrace.   To someone outside of your circumstances, when we refuse help, it can easily be perceived as sinful pride. The refusal to accept help could just as likely be a feeling of unworthiness or a fear of being judged.  Whatever the reason, it is good to evaluate why we hold ourselves back from being good receivers. 

Mutual Support: 

     In the early church, there is an account of much persecution of believers.  They held one another up through mutual support.  It was not easy to follow the instructions given by Jesus in Matthew when the consequences of following his mission to, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age," [3] could result in imprisonment and more likely death.  

     As the disciples were waiting in Jerusalem for the promised Holy Spirit, they stayed close to one another.  In the book of Acts, we see, "All who believed were together and had all things in common." [4] Later in the same book, "Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common." [5] When we view ourselves as having things in common, it is easier to accept meals, transportation, childcare, or even laundry service.  Let's not just let our relationships only represent casual conversation over coffee and croissants.

Relief over Wallowing:      
     In a second Biblical account found in the book of Ruth. We learn about Naomi and her daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah.  Naomi was from Bethlehem but was living in the country of Moab where her two sons, Mahlon and Chilion took Moabite women as wives.  All three women became widows, Naomi suffered the most significant lost by losing both her husband and two sons.  In hardship, Naomi decided to return to her homeland of Judah.  She didn’t want to burden her daughters-in-law to follow her, her reasoning was she had no more sons to offer them in marriage.  Instead of receiving the gracious kindness extended by her daughter-in-law Ruth, Naomi decided instead to become bitter.  Moving back to Bethlehem she told community women, “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty, has dealt very bitterly with me.’ [6] Although Naomi refused grace, Ruth remained loyal overcoming her resistance.  Eventually, we see Ruth blessed with a kinsman redeemer through Naomi's distant kinship with Boaz.  Despite all the hardship they had encountered, Naomi recognizes God’s goodness as she held her new grandson, Obed, the son of Boaz and Ruth.
One Body:      
     As we focus on eternity, let us be mindful of the needs of others, which give us the ability to serve. Let us also be willing to accept the kind gestures of others who want to help us in a time of need.  We may be missing out on a vital lesson of humility or worthiness that God is trying to teach us through our Christian brothers and sisters.  And even more devastating than refusing others generosity when our needs are small, would be standing alone and having no one to rely upon when our needs are great.  In the book of First Corinthians, Paul reminds us, ‘Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.’ [7] Let us continue to encourage one another by pursuing relationships that teach us to love.

Endnotes:

All Scripture was retrieved from www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/(scripture references in English Standard Version) – accessed 11/26/18

^[1] James 1:27; ^[2] Proverbs 18:1; ^[3] Matthew 28:19-20; ^[4] Acts 2:44; ^[5] Acts 4:32; ^[6] Ruth 1:20; 

^[7] 1 Corinthians 12:4-7